Your assertive rights

How does the list below sound to you? Is it shocking or just something you know and live by? It's certainly been an ongoing learning process for me... The list is from a wonderful book by Manuel J. Smith called “When I say no, I feel guilty”. I highly recommend the book... even though I first read it years ago - I keep going back to it again and again.

Assertive Rights      

1. You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts, and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself.
2. You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses to justify your behavior.
3. You have the right to judge whether you are responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.
4. You have the right to change your mind.
5. You have the right to make mistakes – and be responsible for them.
6. You have the right to say ‘I don’t know’.
7. You have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them.
8. You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
9. You have the right to say, ‘I don’t understand’.
10. You have the right to say, ‘I don’t care’.

You have the right to say no, without feeling guilty.”

Comments

[Hans Rietveld]

Dear Barbara,

It is 3 years ago I have met you and Tim in Copenhagen!
I do see your blog for the first time and it is good to read. I do have a very good and warm feeling at the time at your house!

Love,Light and Hugs from the Netherlands,

Namasté,

Hans