Barbara's Blog

It's all mental - is that true?

I was talking to a guy on the phone today and I mentioned that I was having problems with my left ear and he said - oh you know Barbara all sickness is mental. And I thought - is that true? In one way you can say it is true, because everything is mental - our whole experience of the world and everything in it is mental... but I know that's not what he meant. He meant (I think) that our health is determined by the way we think. And I believe he said that to me because I wrote about this in The Road to Power / Fast Food for the Soul so he thought I should know this! But let's look at it again.

Is it true that our thinking affects our health? I think the problem with this belief is that it's too black and white and too linear. I don't think it's fair to say that if you have a negative thought you are going to get sick or that if you are sick it's because of some specific thoughts you are having. That's too simplistic a way of looking at it. And it's also a very cruel way of treating ourselves. And what does it mean? Does it mean that if you have cancer it's because of the way you think? How cruel. Nobody wants to get cancer. Nobody wants to be sick. It's just not that simple.

On the other hand, it seems that our thinking does affect our health! At least that's what a lot of research points to. But it's a more general, benign type of influence and we can all understand that if we are thinking kind, loving and positive thoughts, we tend to relax and feel more at ease with life and the world and this influences everything in our body which is good for our health. It reminds me of the story I read in Sogyal Rinpoche's book The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying... he writes about this woman who had terminal cancer who went to this lama in New York and was crying oh help me I am dying and have only 3 months to live. The lama laughed and said we are all dying. Then he taught her how to meditate and find peace of mind... so she began meditating and did find peace and then to everyone's surprise, her cancer went away....

Breathe from the quiet center

There is this cool song from Snatam Kaur's latest album called "Kabir's Song" and the chorus is... "breathe my love, breathe my love, breathe from the quiet center"... and it just has such a calming affect on me. I guess it's because it instantly triggers me into remembering - into that place where I breathe from the quiet center and then the knowing arises... the knowing of exactly how it feels to breathe from the quiet center. Everything becomes so peaceful when you just breathe from the quiet center. No place to go. Nothing to do. Nothing to achieve. Just Life in all its wonder and glory here and now. Easy. Yes. And so difficult for most of us.

So breathe my love, breathe from the quiet center. Nobody else can do it for you. Nobody else can take it from you.

Are you here now?

Spot check friends...! Where are you right now? Are you here now? Fully present? In this moment, aware and watching yourself living and breathing? If you're not, take a moment to pull back your projections from the past and the future. Let go of whatever worries you might have about tomorrow and be here now... and just breathe from the quiet center!

I guarantee you this is the best coffee break in the world, being here now. Better than the best, because it's the only thing that's REAL. If you don't believe me give it a try and see what happens.

Read this and weep

If my friend, you are feeling really sad or depressed or beaten down, read this poem of Rumi's and weep...

Checkmate

By Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks

Borrow the beloved’s eyes.

Look through them, and you’ll see the beloved’s face

Everywhere. No tiredness, no jaded boredom.

“I shall be your eyes and your hand and your loving.”

Let this happen and things

You have hated will become helpers.

A certain preacher always prays long and with enthusiasm

for thieves and muggers who attack people

on the road. “Let your mercy, Oh Lord, cover their insolence.”

He doesn’t pray for the good,

but only for the blatantly cruel.

Why is this? His congregation asks.

“Because they have done me such generous favors.

Every time I turn back toward the things they want,

I run into them. They beat me and leave me nearly dead

in the road, and I understand, again, that what they want

is not what I want. They keep me on the spiritual path.

That’s why I honor them and pray for them.”

Those that make you return, for what ever reason

to God’s solitude, be grateful to them.

Worry about the others who give you

delicious comforts that keep you from prayer.

Friends are enemies sometimes, and enemies friends.

There is an animal called an ushghur, a porcupine.

If you hit it with a stick, it extends its quills

and gets bigger. The soul is a porcupine,

made strong by stick beating.

So a prophet’s soul is especially afflicted

because it has to become so powerful.

A hide is soaked in tanning liquor and becomes leather.

If the tanner didn’t rub in the acid

the Hide would become foul-smelling and rotten.

The soul is a newly skinned hide, bloody and gross.

Work on it with manual discipline,

and the bitter tanning acid of grief,

and you will become lovely and very strong.

If you can’t do this work yourself, don’t worry.

You don’t even have to make a decision

one way or another. The Friend, who knows

a lot more than you do, will bring difficulties,

and grief and sickness, as medicine, as happiness,

as the essence of the moment when you’re beaten,

when you hear Checkmate, and can finally say,

with Hallaj’s voice,

I trust you to kill me.

I am a failure when I feel bad...

Did you ever have that thought? That you are a failure when you feel bad? That it's not OK to feel bad. That you're not good enough when you feel bad?

I know I have this thought and feeling a lot and maybe you do too. Today it struck me how incredibly cruel this thought/feeling is and how I'm doing it to myself. How I'm beating myself up with this thought. And how did that happen? Where did I get such a cruel thought? How did it happen that I could believe something so insane as this? I know I would never treat another person or a child like this so why do I do it to myself?

I've been thinking about this all day and here's what I've discovered so far. Thinking that we're a failure if we feel bad is one of those awful and incredibly unkind messages we are getting all the time from our society.  It's like we only look up to and admire the good performers, the people who are beautiful and successful and on top of the world. It's like saying we have to be OK, well, healthy, beautiful, successful and strong to be one of God's children. But is there anywhere that God said that? Is there anywhere that God says that He'll only love us if we're succesful and that if we feel bad we're failures? And beyond the love of God...?

And when I look at it a little closer, I found out another thing. The feeling bad bit is closely linked to the waking up to reality bit. In fact they go hand in hand. The feeling bad, the pain, they force you to look within, they force you to ask questions, they force to be humble and get down on your knees - and that's something that success never does! So it's interesting isn't it? This feeling bad bit. Could it be that it's the Grace of God - only we don't see it that way? Could it be God shining His Light and Love on us and calling us to go up higher - only we don't see it? Is that why it feels so painful because we don't see it - until we finally surrender. Because it's not like we have a choice - do we? It's not like we have a say when it comes to feeling bad. No one chooses to feel bad... it just chooses us.

So maybe we should reconsider next time we think we're failures when we feel bad. Maybe we're not failures at all... maybe we're the Blessed Children of God and  should look for the gifts instead.

Lovely

My friend Kristine from Sweden sent me this today... isn't this lovely!

“Notes from the Universe”:

“Did you know that whenever you whisper, “I’m sorry..” to someone quietly in your mind, someone over here sheds a tear and healing begins?

Did you know that whenever you whisper, “Can I help you..” to someone quietly in your mind, someone over here sheds a tear and an army of Angels are sent?

And, did you know that whenever you whisper, “I love you..” to someone quietly in your mind, someone over here sheds a tear, healing begins, an Army of angels are sent, and 10,000 bells are rung?

Actually, you even have your own marching band that follows you everywhere…

I love you, the Universe”

I really like talking to you!

More and more of you are contacting me by email - with questions or with your phone number so I can call you. And I just want you to know I love it. It's great talking to so many of you as I can - and so wonderful for me to know that somehow my words have inspired you or touched you on your pathway through life. What a blessing!

Talking to you also gives me so much to think about. Especially since we are all facing the same challenges and are all longing to find our way home - back to the heart of things... back to now.

So thank you for sharing your thoughts and questions and challenges with me. I appreciate it more than I can ever tell you. Love you!

We are love

One of my readers in Sweden just wrote me an email and asked me why "we are love". She said she knew it was true but couldn't explain to herself why! So she asked me if I could explain it. I thought it was such a great question that I asked my very wise son Tim how he would answer this question and here is what Tim said...

Tim wrote: “What is love? Love is another word for reality, for what is. God is everything, God is God. Everything supports me, everything supports everything, everything happens for me, not to me. Love is what I am, what you are, what everything is. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to achieve, nothing to lose. Completely home, completely okay. Now. Here. Love is in the air!”

Nice answer!

What happens when we wake up?

When we wake up, what happens actually? What actually am I talking about? All this waking up stuff. All I can tell you is when you're in the "here and now" that's what I mean by "waking up". Most of the time we are lost in the illusion of what happened in the past and of what might happen in the future. We spend so much of our lives spinning our wheels about what did happen and what could happen that we miss what is actually happening now. When we wake up, we notice this. We're here. Right here. In this place. Now. And it's all suddenly very clear and very peaceful and very simple. And that's about it... of course until the next thought arises and you find yourself running off in your mind to another distant mountain. Try noticing and see what happens. Watch yourself if you can, at least for a little while. And notice when you are really here now. How does that feel??

Does it have to hurt so much?

Does waking up to reality always have to hurt so much? Haven't you asked yourself that question a thousand times? I know I have... I know I've thought countless times - why does it have to be like this? Why do we have to suffer so much in order to see what's really going on?

Is it because nothing else but serious suffering can slow us down enough and make us stop long enough and make us vulnerable enough to start to question the illusion. What else can make us stop? Really stop?  When we're feeling fine and singing and dancing and having success,  we just keep on charging ahead - buying into the illusion and all the glamour. That's just how we are... and you know as well as I do that this is the God honest truth.

But when we're down on our knees, praying and begging for mercy... well that's when the Light has a chance to break through and bless our miserable lives...  I sure as hell wish there was an easier way, but so far, I haven't found it...