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Here's an affirmation for today:
I am an irresistible magnet for all the Good the Universe has for me now! And it comes to me easily and effortlessly - under Grace in Perfect Ways.
Try saying this all day and see what happens!
Love, Barbara
In her book "Facing Codependence" in a section called "What Society Says About Feelings" Pia Mellody writes... "The message is - 'you have a right not to have any pain so take whatever you need to numb it.' Since wisdom and maturity come from facing pain and learning from it, I believe we are a nation of very immature people who don't have the willingness to experience the pain that leads to authentic wisdom. We haven't learned how to tolerate pain and deal with it as an agent of positive change."
Hallelujah and a big thanks to Pia Mellody. She's right on the money as far as I can see. We are taught to do whatever it takes to get ride of our pain instead of looking and learning from it. Unfortunately most of us are so afraid of our pain because we don't know there are tools to deal with it... But the good news is there are tools.
And understanding that the way to peace and wisdom is not running away but going through the darkness is really a BIG step forward.
If you can, breathe and be present and ask what the lesson is...
Here's a cool meditation from my book "Gateway to Grace"
Out of the Blue
"With your inner eye, see Blue, like the bluest of blue skies, like the bluest of Blue Infinities, like a vast spacious Blueness within the space, which is in between the spaces...
Then let this Blueness in your mind expand... and expand even further... like the bluest of blue skies on the clearest of blue days when you know for sure you can see forever.
In your mind's eye, let this Blueness become like an ocean with no waves or like space which gets thinner and thinner, with more and more space expanding between the atoms, as this space, as this Blueness keeps unfolding...
Then, if you can, keep this Blueness in your consciousness for a moment, if you can, without trying too hard, keep it there, let it rest, this Blueness, in your consciousness without a single, solitary thought. Just let it linger there, within you like a curtain of silver blue rain in your mind... a curtain, an unfolding expanse of Blue... with no thought whatsoever. Just let it rest there, there, where there is no thought.
It may be difficult to conceptualize this in your mind as you read this, which is also probably why you can only get there—get to Blue—get to the Blueness of Blue, in a state of profound meditation ... that thoughtless state... that thoughtless/blissful/thoughtless state. Before the thought manifests in your consciousness. At that very juncture of Blue.
And when you're there, at Blue.
Watch what happens.
Be the witness.
Because you are the witness.
Then, you see it, suddenly happening. As time slows down.
A thought bubbles up. Does it not? Just like that.
A thought. An eruption.
Out of the Blue.
And what, exactly, is it? That thought? That bubbles up, just like that. Out of that Blueness, which is beyond description?
UnManifest as it is, the very beginning of all things that it is, which suddenly erupts into a thought. Which suddenly becomes ... the UnManifest manifesting into the Manifest.
If that is so, who did it?
Who is the Manifester of the Manifest?
Who transformed the UnManifest into that Manifestation?
Who thought that thought?
Just witness it.
Let this act unfold before you.
Be the witness of it.
This act.
This act of creation.
For surely, this is the act of creation.
And if this is so, if this is the act of creation, who then are you?"
I was talking to my almost 90-year old mother last night and she was apologizing for not feeling well. She said, oh call me tomorrow and then hopefully I will have better news for you. And I thought - what is going on here? It made me feel so sad. Just think about it. It's like growing old and having your body age and break down is some kind of defeat, some kind of failure. And isn't it sad that we think like that? What kind of a crazy world do we live in when we believe that being young and strong is a success and being old and frail is a failure. We are really crazy when we think like this because getting old is what bodies do. And there isn't a single one of us who is going to escape aging or dying. That's the way Life is. Bodies come and go. Bodies grow old and decline. That is the way it is. And for us who aren't 90 yet, one day we will be (if we live that long) so it might be a good idea to investigate our thoughts about this now - before we get to 90 and have to suffer from our own crazy beliefs! Thanks mom for giving me a chance to see this...
Here's what comes to mind when I ask myself this question...
We should have confidence in Life because Life is:
- always supportive
- always there for us (Life never deserts us)
- gives us everything
- never judges us
- has no expectations to us
- embraces all of us (embraces each and every one of us)
- is there no matter what we do
- doesn't care if we are young or old, rich or poor, fat or thin, beautiful or ugly, smart or stupid, black or white, Muslim or Jew, sick or healthy, good or bad... regardless of what we are, regardless of what we do, regardless of what we think or feel, Life is still there for us
- never abandons us
- never boring / always entertaining
- knows everything
- does everything for us
Quite amazing to think about isn't it! I guess I'll have to take my friend Janus' advice and have more confidence in Life. He said to me the other day, "Barbara, have confidence in Life - see where it will take you..."
Do you have confidence in Life? Do you trust in Life? Do you feel that Life will take you where you're supposed to go? And do exactly what it's supposed to do?
It seems to me that a lot of my anxiety about Life comes from not having confidence in Life... so when I try to go there... when I really allow myself to breathe into and feel, really feel, how it feels to really trust and really have confidence in Life - it's like wow. It's really a wow feeling. So if you haven't tried it yet I suggest you do... Just let yourself go there, if only for a short while, and see how it feels. See how it feels to trust Life!
I am discovering that trusting Life, having confidence in Life, makes me notice how Life is always here for us. And how Life doesn't desert us or go away - but that's it's always here - always at hand - always showing us exactly what we need to do in this very moment... it's really quite amazing and such a lovely lovely feeling. In fact it feels like love!
Hi friends... The video on YouTube was taken down to be edited but here it is again if you want to see Tim and me live...!
Here's a nice one for you... I call it my "this is for me meditation"...
1) Put your hand on your heart.
2) Take a deep breath and relax.
3) Decide you are going to be here for you right now.
4) Breathe into that decision and feel yourself being there for you. Feel your very own heart - your pain, your sorrow, your beauty, your joy, your uniqueness. Feel you...
5) Now just be with yourself for a little while - with loving kindness.
Enjoy!
Dear friends, you can see Tim and me on YouTube if you want.
Our friend Jorrit from the Project Network in Holland was here and interviewed us in preparation for our visit and seminar to Amsterdam this coming June when my book Are You Happy Now? will be released.
You can find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S01nEvtPZQM.
Enjoy! And hope to see you in Amsterdam if you live near by!
Are you afraid of your emotions? Afraid that they will overwhelm you or get out of control? Afraid that you can't handle them? Afraid that you will break down or go to pieces if you really let your true feelings out?
Well if you are, welcome to the club. It seems to me that most of us are like that. Somehow we've gotten this crazy idea that we should always be happy, well-functioning and upbeat and that if (God forbid) we should feel sad, confused or unhappy, there is something wrong with us. And as a result, we tend to suppress the so-called "negative emotions".
But here's the question... are these emotions really negative? Are they really so dangerous as we tend to believe? Will they really overpower us and make us into half-crazed maniacs if we look at them and feel them?
What if we looked upon these so-called negative emotions as kindly messengers from within who are saying to us "it's time to take a look at this my dear, it's time to make some changes or adjustments, it's time to slow down..." What if that was our attitude? What if we truly stopped and sat down and listened to the voice from within... what would happen then?
First of all, if we listen to the voice within, in my experience it changes the way we treat ourselves (and everyone else of course). We become a lot kinder and more spacious and compassionate towards ourselves and towards others. And we relax...
And then too we would find out (at least that's my experience) that these emotions are not so dangerous and overwhelming as we thought they were. They're just like the little child within us, crying out for some attention. Can you be the kind mother to your own sadness and distress? You might want to try and see what happens. And the other thing I noticed is that when we try to suppress our so-called negative emotions, we actually make them a lot stronger. When we fear them we make them more powerful - and the more we run away - the worse it gets... but when we turn and welcome these feelings, we find out it's just us. And we're just - well - quite wonderful and ok just the way we are...
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