Getting people to do what we think they should do

Usually we think everything would be better if our partner or child or parent just did what we think they should do. But think again. If we think like this, well just remember, they probably think like this too. Other people - meaning our partners and children and parents - also have all kinds of ideas about how life would be better if we just did what they think we "should" do! So it works both ways. And how would you feel if you had to do what other people think you "should" do...? You wouldn't like it would you? Not one bit... because you want to be free don't you? You want to do what you do, don't you? Well I know that I sure do...

The more I think about it, the more I can see that all our "should" stuff is pretty crazy. In fact, just think how crazy the world would be if we all had to do what other people think we "should" do... or if other people had to do what we think they "should" do... the whole world would just implode!

So really we can thank God that we can't get other people to do what we think they should do...  just like other people can't get us to do what they think we should do... because we're not running the show... and neither are they.

God's running the show! And that's just great isn't it?

Comments

[Petra Lange]

Thanks, Barbara..you are so right about this...we are the ones, who should act and not expect others to act in a certain way to please us. This is one of the important things we have to learn, to concentrate on our own stuff and not to wonder all the time why our lifepartners or kids don´t do what we want...that´s only a waste of time

[gabriel]

barbara.. thanks for ur fine site and words u offer.. the follow was in response to a friend who was somewhat confused by ur mixing of God and buddhism...

I realize I don't know u, so what I write I write from here...

Well my love many zen practitioners hold on to the Christian and/or Jewish beliefs… right from the start u see her background…

"Gateway to Grace" … grace is defined as “unmerited favor” meaning its god’s gift to his children… There is no such concept in Buddhism… we believe in karma, merit, etc… that it’s up to us what will happen…

And this seals it…

“So really we can thank God that we can't get other people to do what we think they should do... just like other people can't get us to do what they think we should do... because we're not running the show... and neither are they.
God's running the show! And that's just great isn't it?”

The idea that someone, something outside of ourselves is “running is the show” is so far from Buddhism it hard to see the light of it… but still she says some good things, seems to have a handle on our propensities, habits, etc and has gasped some of what the buddha taught, but has missed the essential, that “we are it!”…