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Well friends, if you liked Tim's 10 reality checks for staying conscious in a relationship, he's written a few more fun and thought-provoking pieces about the wonderful man-woman game....
If you want to check it out - click here: http://www.beamteam.com/en/tim/timwrites.html
Enjoy! Love, Barbara
When it comes to waking up, the first breakthrough is the realization that the power is within. This realization is the great shift from believing that the power is out there and that you're a victim of outside forces to really seeing that the power is within you. It's the shift from blaming others to taking responsibility for your own life into your own hands.
And when this happens to you, well you can never go back to your previous view or understanding of life. You can never go back to blaming others and being a victim. And this is GOOD NEWS - very good news! Because it means that it's up to you now. And it means that you can change things if you want to. That the power is now in your hands. That you see that cause and effect is an inner phenomenon... and well... as this realization grows on you, you come to understand that this truly is the key to freedom. The key to YOUR freedom.
Which of course always calls for a celebration. Because no matter how glum things may get, you will always know that it's up to you to see reality for what it truly is. And of course, things can and do get pretty glum for most of us from time to time because waking up is a process (at least for most of us) and not something which just happens. For most of us, we don't just snap our fingers and then everything's perfect forever. For most of us it takes time because we are on a learning curve - so sometimes we see more clearly and sometimes we don't. And that's just the way it is.
But that first wonderful realization - that first breakthrough - never disappears. And that's the good news. The really good news. That you have discovered that the power is in you. That you've taken back any power you might have mistakenly thought was out there... that you truly see this and truly know this.... oh hallelujah!
There's this campaign going on in Denmark where I live asking people to take more responsibility for what they do... and when I see it, I think like... "hello... is anybody home?"
Obviously the people behind the campaign never heard about the Law of Karma. You know, the great law of cause and effect. The law that says - whatever you do, it's going to come back to you! Yes, that's the great law. So it's not really a question of taking responsibility for what you do. You don't have a choice. Whatever you do, it's going to come back to you. Every little thing. Every little word, thought, action. It's all creating the life we live and the life we share with our fellow human beings.
With this awareness, we understand that how we make and eat our breakfast, what we buy and throw out, how we treat our friends and neighbours, what we give our time and energy to... yes everything, all of it, it's all our statement about how we believe life should be lived here on earth.
Living each day as mindfully as we possibly can with the intention of contributing to the good of all in each now moment... that seems to me to be the sanest way of all... and to remember the words from the Bhagavad Gita "They live in wisdom, Who see themselves in all and all in them..."
You can go through this entire lifetime; in fact you can pass through countless lifetimes, without remembering who you are.
I know. I've done it. And you probably have too.
You see the illusion of the collective consciousness is so powerful, so hypnotic, that most of us accept, without question, that this vision of reality is reality. Most of us spend lifetime after lifetime in the Earth School playing the games the collective consciousness decrees we should play: Relationship games, war games, hunger and poverty games, suffering and lack games, poverty and struggle games, games of adventure and conquest, games of discovery and love, and also for most beings, games of sickness and death. It seems that it's all part of the curriculum of the Earth School. And most of us, in fact the majority, toddle along to Earth School and play these games wholeheartedly. Because we signed up for these things! We signed up for the illusion. We signed up to forget the Nature of Reality, and so we did, indeed, wholeheartedly.
Until one day, you've had enough.
Until one day, your heart tells you there's got to be something more.
Until one day, your weariness at going to the Earth School, lifetime after lifetime, is about to overwhelm you.
Until one day, you're ready to wake up from illusion.
Then the searching begins.
Some search frantically, some search sporadically—but the searching continues. And whether erratic or persistent, it never stops. Because the nagging, the discontent, never again leaves you, as you who have tasted of this weariness well know.
Never.
So you begin to ask yourself—what is Life all about? What is reality? What is real?
Which leads you to the next question: How do you define “the real”?
And you find that you must define “the real” as something substantial, as something that never changes. When you do this, you quickly discover that most of what you are experiencing in your daily life is not “real” because most of it is constantly changing.
In fact, at first you think—everything is constantly changing.
Your thoughts are changing. Your emotions are changing. Your body is changing. The weather is changing. The government is changing. The economic situation is changing. Your relationships are changing. The trees and plants and oceans and skies around you are changing. Your friends are changing. Your work is changing. In fact everything in the world of phenomena around you is changing.
So you ask yourself… is there anything that never changes?
Then as you learn to meditate, you make an earth-shaking discovery.
Yes there is something that never changes!
You discover on that wonderful, glorious, miraculous day—while you are meditating—the one thing that never changes!
You discover that behind all the constantly changing phenomena, behind all the constantly changing thoughts in your mind, behind all the constantly changing emotions you are experiencing, behind all the constantly changing sensations of your physical body… there is a sense of awareness… a consciousness… of all these changes that never changes!
In other words, there is something (or someone) behind the changing phenomena you are experiencing that is always there. There is something (or someone) who is watching, who is aware, who is witnessing all these changes. And this something or someone never changes. It is always there. Always present. In other words, this awareness is always there, regardless of your passing thoughts, regardless of the weather, regardless of your emotional state, regardless of whether you are healthy or sick, young or old, happy or sad, rich or poor. This watcher, this witness, this awareness is just there, regardless. Watching.
We human beings have given this awareness a name: We call it consciousness.
Consciousness is this state of self-awareness. According to Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language: “Consciousness is awareness of one’s own existence. The state of being.”
And so you must ask yourself—who or what is this awareness or consciousness that is behind all the changing phenomena that you are constantly experiencing?
The answer is right there in front of you.
This consciousness, this awareness is you. It must be you. Who else or what else could it be?
This consciousness, this awareness, this witness or watcher who is always there, must be the real you—since this is the only thing about you that never changes.
And so you discover your True Self.
You discover that your true nature is consciousness. And that you are in fact the consciousness—the awareness—that never changes.
Yes, that is what or who you are!
You are consciousness itself. You are the silent seer, the witness. You are the consciousness that is always present.
But what does this mean... that you are consciousness itself? What is this consciousness that you suddenly realize you are? Who or what is this witness, this seer?
This consciousness is the underlying Nature of Reality. This consciousness, which is your True Self, your true identity, is none other than the Source and Substance of all things, the Author of all things, the Author of all the universes and all the dimensions in all their immenseness, glory and wonder. So you discover, though you may not want to say it out loud to the grocer on the corner, that this Author, this marvelous Governor, this incomprehensible consciousness that is the very Source and Substance of the vastness of time and space itself, is who you are.
Now, you soon realize that this discovery, startling as it may seem, difficult as it may be to grasp or comprehend, is absolutely true. And even though your ego with all the persuasive power of its never-ending chatter tries to convince you otherwise, you know, in your heart of hearts, that this discovery really is true. You also begin to realize that the “little you”—or what you perceive as your personality in this world—is but a focal point in the vastness of consciousness itself. Somehow and for some reason, you are a central point or hub in the incomprehensible vastness of the unmanifest that first imagines and then creates and finally delivers this world and all the multitude upon multitudes of worlds in all the immensity of eternity.
Some would say you've discovered your Higher Self. Some would say you've discovered God. Some would say you had a moment of God Realization. Some would say... but whatever some would say, or you would say, whatever feeble words you would use to explain this mind-boggling discovery to yourself, the realization is so profound, so revolutionary, that it totally transforms every aspect of your life.
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I can assure you that once you remember who you are you will never be the same again. Of course, you might still wake up in the morning in the same bed, wear the same clothes, have the same job, be married to the same person, drive the same car, have the same children, shop at the same supermarket, but when you look in the mirror, you will see yourself with new eyes—and your relationship to all the external aspects of your life will be completely and permanently changed. Now and forever.
Because suddenly you know who you are!
And this means you're free!
Truly and utterly free.
And for the first time in this life, you also know—at the most profound level of your being—that you are not a victim, not some puppet on a string on a chaotic stage called Life, but that you are indeed the Author of this play (however strange and wondrous) and the Director as well.
And this new sense of freedom, this new discovery, then so permeates every aspect of your consciousness, every corner of your life, every aspect of your mental, emotional and physical bodies, that yes, one day, and one day very soon, you wake up and find yourself a completely new person.
And the magic tool that got you there is none other than meditation.
From my book Gateway to Grace
I have known 2 people really well in my life who have suffered from the disease of bitterness. Two people who were really close to me... so I've had the chance to observe and contemplate the disease at close hand. Because yes, it is a disease in the sense that it fouls and pollutes an otherwise wonderful life for the people who suffer from this disease.
So what is bitterness? It seems to me from watching that bitterness is based on the thought/feeling that Life didn't give you what you wanted and that things "should" have been different. Another quality of bitterness is blame. People who are bitter have the thought that whatever is wrong is the fault of other people. It's never their fault. It's always someone else's fault. If only he or she had done this or that, then Life would have been perfect.
So you can see that being bitter is really just another form of ignorance because it's again goes back to the "should" idea and the idea that Life "should" be different or that people "should" be different or that things "should" be done differently. It's based on the thought I "should" have had an easier time, a better life, better health, more money. And this type of bitterness seems to come at the end of the long haul... the long haul of complaints...
Is there a cure? Well as far as I can see, the only cure for bitterness is waking up to reality. Waking up to the way things are and to the fact that whatever is happening is what should be happening... why? Because it is happening.
And then taking responsibility for your part in your life - and then finding all the million, billion things you have to be grateful for right this moment!
Are you aware of what you need to do to keep your energy high? For example: Are you in a relationship that's bringing you down? Are you in a relationship that takes up all your mental energy and is wearing you down? Well if you are, get out of it. That's your most important task. To keep your energy high. Nothing is more important than this. So take a look at your life now... And find out what else in your life is bringing your energy down. There's not a minute to waste. Find out what situations, people, events you need to look at in order to keep yourself clear and high in consciousness. Of course if we are high enough in consciousness, no situation or person or event can bring us down, but until we're that high and that clear, it's wise to take an honest look at your reality and see what's good for you and what's not... and then act accordingly.
The reality is that some people are just negative. Some people just bitch and complain all the time and feel bitter about life. And well, that's their business. But you don't have to get down in the mud with them... your job is to keep your eye on the Highest and Best you can conceive and believe in. It's not your job to support someone else's negativity. So do whatever it takes to stay high. Say goodbye. Walk out the door. Turn on your favorite music, say your affirmations, meditate, clean your house, go for a run or a swim... do whatever it takes. As long as you stay clear and high in consciousness, all the blessings of Life will rain down upon you! That's just the way the universe works! It's the law. Like attracts like.
Usually we think everything would be better if our partner or child or parent just did what we think they should do. But think again. If we think like this, well just remember, they probably think like this too. Other people - meaning our partners and children and parents - also have all kinds of ideas about how life would be better if we just did what they think we "should" do! So it works both ways. And how would you feel if you had to do what other people think you "should" do...? You wouldn't like it would you? Not one bit... because you want to be free don't you? You want to do what you do, don't you? Well I know that I sure do...
The more I think about it, the more I can see that all our "should" stuff is pretty crazy. In fact, just think how crazy the world would be if we all had to do what other people think we "should" do... or if other people had to do what we think they "should" do... the whole world would just implode!
So really we can thank God that we can't get other people to do what we think they should do... just like other people can't get us to do what they think we should do... because we're not running the show... and neither are they.
God's running the show! And that's just great isn't it?
Silence is food for the soul, a gift from God. Without silence, we may wither, become confused, or fail to realize our full potential.
Silence is a wonderful place where wonderful things happen... Silence is where we get in touch with our inner voice, our intuition, our deepest feelings, dreams, and desires... Silence is where we find the answers to questions that trouble us and the solutions to problems that seem insoluble.
So don't be afraid of silence. Seek it out. Because silence is your friend. Silence is a true blessing.
Unfortunately, many people fear silence because they do not realize that silence is their friend. A place of power, a magic garden, a sacred haven, where they can regroup, recharge, and revitalize their energy. So they only feel comfortable when they are surrounded by incessant activity, noise, talk, music, television, and the frantic pace of city life. When such people are not working, they're talking on the phone, making plans, watching television, meeting friends, going out, doing things. They're always busy and have forgotten the importance of maintaining a harmonious balance between activity and rest.
Often there is the mistaken idea that something is wrong with us if we're not doing something all the time. Are you like this? Do you believe you've got to be "productive", "active" all the time? If this is your program, I suggest you do yourself a big favor and let this idea go, because not only are you missing one of life's true pleasures, you are missing a God-given place of power. So please be clear about this: You are dissipating your life force and your creative energy if you never take time to renew yourself through silence.
Do you fear silence? To fear silence is to fear yourself.
I remember when we were leaving my publisher's house in Prague after she had told us about growing up in Czechoslovakia under the communist regime and then we were talking about China and she said, "You can't stop freedom."
And it's a comforting thought indeed. But it also made me think that even though I thought there were way TOO MANY tourists in Prague, I realized that all these tourists are doing God's work there too. Because they are bringing the freedom vibration from the West to these freedom-hungry people. For me this is a new way of looking at the tourist phenomenon because usually I think it's pretty overwhelming. (The beautiful streets of the old city of Prague are jampacked with tourists - and I mean really jampacked!) But now when I think about it I can see that well all these backpackers and Italians and Japanese - and all the McDonalds and cash machines and Starbucks... in a way it's just great. Because it's that funky freedom vibe... and there's no stopping freedom.
Everyone wants to be free. Like the two 14-year-old girls I saw in the park on rollerblades, wearing tight jeans and headscarfs and listening to their iPods....Freedom!
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