We have nothing to deal with but our own thoughts...

More and more I have come to see that external events and things cannot disturb us. This may be a very difficult concept to understand and accept when we first hear it, but it is true nevertheless. Nothing external can disturb us because the truth is we are only experiencing our own thoughts and stories—and almost never the reality that is before us. We think and tell ourselves stories about what events, people, and things mean and then we get to live our stories. This is our only experience.

   We tell ourselves that this event means this or that and that this is something bad, dangerous, or life threatening and then we experience it. But the event is just the event—with no opinion or intrinsic value one way or the other. And this holds true for all events, including death.

   If this is the first time you’ve met this concept, you will probably find it shocking and extremely challenging. I know because I still find it shocking and extremely challenging even though I’ve been contemplating this for quite a while now. It’s difficult to understand and accept because it’s such a radical shift in perspective from everything we’ve learned and were taught to believe about life. But that doesn’t make it any less true.

   And if it is true, the consequences are very far-reaching and, fortunately for us, very liberating.

   If it is true, and my experience demonstrates for me that it is, it means for example that if you or I have a serious illness like cancer or multiple sclerosis or any other so-called ‘serious’ problem or handicap we can be just as happy as someone who doesn’t have these so-called problems. Because it is only our interpretation of what is happening that can make us unhappy. Only the story we are telling ourselves about what our situations mean can make us unhappy. Because the truth is that at this very moment, no matter what our problem, we are still breathing, we’re still here, and life still is. Our unhappiness arises the minute we compare ourselves to other people or to what we think we should be doing and feeling at this particular moment. But if we stop comparing, what’s left?

   If we drop our thoughts about the meaning of what’s going on, what do we have? And I’m not talking about right or wrong here, but just about what is actually going on.

   The first thing I always notice – when I let go of my thoughts about the meaning of what’s going on – is that suddenly it gets very peaceful. The second thing I notice is there’s only me here now. And that’s about it. This moment with whatever is. The sun on my face for example. Or this moment, doing the dishes. Or this moment, gazing at the flowers in the vase next to me. Or this moment, sitting in front of my computer.

   That’s about it.

   Plain and simple.

   Life.

   Peace.

   Happiness.

   The truth is you and I can lead happy lives regardless of our situation. Because when we drop our interpretation of events, we find that happiness is our nature. Our natural state. It’s what we are. We may have been brought up to think otherwise, to think that our happiness depends on our health, on outside circumstances, on our good looks, or on the amount of money we have in the bank, but it’s just not true.

   We can live happy lives regardless because happiness is our innermost nature. It has nothing to do with health, money or success. In fact, it has nothing to do with anything outside of us because we can only experience our own thoughts, which means nothing external can influence our happiness one way or the other unless we allow it to. Only our interpretations of what’s going on can influence our experience. That in fact is what your life is. Your life is your interpretation of what’s going on. My life (or we could say my experience) is my interpretation of what’s going on. And that means we have nothing to deal with but our own thoughts—and that nothing but our own thoughts can prevent us from living a happy life right this very moment.

   It’s a mind-boggling discovery isn’t it? That we have nothing to deal with but our own thoughts? And even though I have been saying this for years in all my books, the ramifications of this discovery just keep expanding for me as my understanding of this simple statement—we have nothing to deal with but our own thoughts—continues to grow.

 

 

 

Comments

[Mihkel]

Its nice to read Your blog.