Barbara's Blog

So I know what's good for you - is that true?

How many times during the course of a day do you think you know what's best for someone else? How many times during a day do you find yourself thinking "if only she did that, everything would be OK"... or "he should do it like this"...

It's really an interesting experiment - to decide - just for one whole day - to notice everytime you think "he should do that" or "she should do it like this" or "or if only she did that, everything would be OK". It's really amazing to watch how our minds work.

It's quite a discovery to become aware of this. To see how many times during the course of a day you are in someone else's business. To see how many times during the course of a day, you think  you know what's best for someone else.

Because the reality is - how could we possibly know what's best for someone else? Are we standing in their shoes? Are we living their life? Do we know what God's plan is for them? I mean - what do we actually know about anyone else? And what gives us the idea that we could possibly know what's good for someone else. When you think about it, it's really an insult to the other person's intelligence. It's like saying that person isn't intelligent enough to figure things out for himself or herself.

And even more to the point - do we even know what's good for us?

At the end of the day...

... when it's all over and done with, the only thing that really matters is the love you felt and shared.  After watching someone die, this is what I was left with. That realization. Nothing else matters. Not how rich you were or how famous you were or how good you looked or how big your house was... no... none of this amounts to a pile of beans.

But could you see the Divinity of all Life and live this knowingness? Could you see the Divine Love that created us all and that sustains and maintains us all - in each now moment. Or were you putting it off until some future moment "when you would have time to be good". Isn't that an amazing concept - waiting until we have time to do it - and doesn't it sound familiar. That... "yes, I'll remember and do it in the future when I have the time and the energy to do it."

And there's the rub my friends. There is no time in the future - and no future. It's only the eternal now, repeating itself over and over again.

So I walked away from that death bed and asked myself. I asked myself if I could dig down into myself and find a moment - at least one moment - when someone showered me with love and kindness and appreciation and warmth - or when I showered someone with love and kindness and appreciation and warmth - just for the pure joy of it? And I thought that well - if  I could find such a moment, it would be wonderful. And then I did. I found such a moment. And when I did, I closed my eyes for a few moments and allowed mysefl to dwell in that Goodness for a few moments. And then I thought - well now I will walk forth into this day with that love and kindness and appreciation and warmth and let it shine forth from me.

And it feels good - this outpouring - it feels  like a great way to live. Thanks for bringing this to me...

Precious life

Well friends, you haven't heard from me in a while because on Saturday 2 of my sons and I had the privilege of sitting with my ex-husband and their father (and his present wife) when he passed away. We had all spoken to him the day before but when we arrived Saturday he was unconscious but it also seemed obvious that he was waiting for us all to arrive before he departed. Then his wife said her goodbyes and thanks and then my sons and I said a prayer for him - and then - as soon as we were finished and said goodbye, he departed.

It was an amazing transformation to see how quickly the physical body turned into a cold, lifeless clump once the animating spirit had departed. And even more startling when we returned later that night with my youngest son who flew in from London to say goodbye to his father. Then the body had already shrunk and turned grey. It seems so obvious that the body - as much as we love it and identify with it - is not who we are...

So even though this spirit left this body, is he gone? I don't think so...

And so Life - the One Life - goes on - in all its multitude of forms  ... in this body or out of this body. It goes on.  This is the incredible gift that we've all been given. The gift of Life Itself -  whatever it is - beyond all understanding... you meet it, face to face when you sit with a dying person.

Intensive workshops in north Sweden

Dear friends in Sweden,

I just want to let you all know that Tim and I will be doing 2 intensive all-day "Getting Real" workshops in Östersund in northern Sweden this November. Day 1 will be November 7th and Day 2 will be November 9th. 

Day 1 will be the theory day - so we will be looking at consciousness and the way the mind works and what it means to "wake up to reality".  Day 2 will be the practical day - so we will be looking at the practical application of spiritual principles in our daily lives and we will make suggestions for daily programs...

We will be speaking English.

If you are interested in joining us - please contact Helena Niemi who is arranging the workshops. You can call her in Sweden at - 0642-92010 or send her an email at helena@niemi.se

Looking forward to seeing you there!

Love, Barbara

Things just happen...

When we start to see this, we realize that things just happen and then we judge them and react to them based on our stories about what we believe is good or bad and on our ideas of how reality should be in order to live up to our idea of what’s good. That’s the mechanism and if you are happy with your life, well that’s just fine. But if you’re not happy, you might want to ask yourself what your standards for happiness and success are and who is setting these standards for you? Did you really and truly set these standards for yourself or have your just accepted the belief systems of your family, friends, peers, school, workplace, culture and society? And if this is what you are doing, what kind of stories are you telling yourself about the way things ‘should’ be? Are you aware of your stories? Have you thought about the belief systems your stories are based on?

   If you aren’t completely happy with your life, if you spend a lot of time wanting what you don’t have, it might be a good idea to take a closer look at your expectations. When you do this, you might discover that you are setting yourself up for failure and unhappiness without being aware of what you’re doing.

   Unfortunately until we wake up, most of us are not setting our own standards. Rather we are unconscious and go through life judging our experiences according to standards and beliefs we are not even aware of. There is nothing new or unusual about this. We are all doing this. Until we become aware of it, most of us just blindly accept the ideas, standards and expectations that are propagated in the societies we live in. These messages and belief systems are all around us and we are constantly getting cues from our families and friends, from the media and television, from our schools and workplaces, from our politicians and leaders. And we blindly accept many of these beliefs, standards and stories because that’s the way we are brought up. No one has taught us to question these beliefs. No one has taught us to ask ourselves – is it true? Is this good for me? Will it make me happy? No one has taught us to really ‘see’ what’s going on. And no one has taught us to see the difference between reality and our stories.

   So for many of us, it’s not until we find ourselves deeply unhappy or in crisis that we start to question our beliefs and begin to wake up. There’s nothing like a good crisis to force one to take the time to investigate and question what we really believe. When we do this, there’s a very good chance that we may well discover the connection between our stories, our standards, our value judgments – and our happiness and well being.

Look inside

If you want to know the truth, there is only one place to look and that’s inside yourself. This is because all cause and effect is an internal event. You will discover this is true when you examine your relationship to the things that happen in your life and discover that your reaction to any situation or event is based on the stories you are telling yourself about life and the meaning of these situations and events. Your reaction is determined by your expectations, which are determined by your definition of what is good or bad. And these value judgments are based on so many things – for example on your background, your culture, your religion, your sex, your age, your country, your job, your family, and so forth.

   So your reaction to anything that happens is totally arbitrary and has nothing to do with anything – except your own value judgments.

   This means that when something happens, if we think it’s good, we feel happy. If we think it’s bad, we feel unhappy. It’s as simple as that. But regardless of our reaction, the event is still the event. In truth, there is no connection whatsoever between an event and your reaction to it. The way you experience the event has absolutely nothing to do with the event itself.