Can you look at yourself sanely and realistically?

I notice a lot of people have difficulty with what I call sane self-appraisal. Here's what I mean... Whenever you say, I ”should” or “shouldn’t” about yourself… for example I “shouldn’t” be so nervous, I “shouldn’t” weigh so much, I “should” be more productive, I “should” be more successful, I “should” have more money… you are saying I ”should” be different than I am. This is the same as saying I “shouldn’t” be me – which is not sane self-appraisal. In fact, it's a really painful way of thinking which leads to anxiety, guilt, depression and low self-esteem.
   When you notice this and stop beating yourself up for being you, it doesn’t mean you can’t have goals and work to improve yourself. But healthy self-improvement begins with sane self-appraisal which means accepting who you are and making a sane and realistic assessment of your strengths and weaknesses and where you are in your development. When you do this, you recognize yourself as a member of the human race who isn’t perfect (whatever that means) and who faces challenges just like everyone else.  When you do this, you are acting like a psychologically mature adult who is able to say… well considering who I am and where I’m going and what I would like to achieve, it might be a good idea to work on this or focus on this or try this…
   This is the mature approach to self-improvement – because it’s based on a sane and realistic appraisal of who you are right now, which is much more peaceful, positive and productive than saying “I shouldn’t be me.”