Barbara's Blog

A story for love addicts

So here's a nice little story for all you love addicts out there... I read this in Osho's book "Sex matters"...

It goes something like this. He says, well you're unhappy right. You're an unhappy person, so you are looking for another person to make you happy. And well then there's this other person who is also unhappy and who is also looking for someone to make them happy... and well they meet and fall in love and join forces and think they can make each other happy. But how can this happen says Osho. One unhappy person plus another unhappy person doesn't make happiness - it makes 2 UNHAPPY PEOPLE! 

Don't you just love it? And doesn't this sound familiar?

The secret of non-resistance

So you’re involved in a process of rapid growth, looking inward, doing a lot of self-reflection, meditating, going to therapy, reading a lot of books, understanding and processing a lot of new stuff – so why do you feel so shitty? Why do you feel so shitty with all this growth going on? You’re gaining insight right? You’re becoming wiser right? So what’s up?

 

Well here’s what I think. In my experience, as we evolve, all our old stuff comes to the surface to be released – and this can be very challenging. Especially if we don’t understand what’s happening to us. If we don’t understand that this is a part of our process, we get scared, we think there’s something wrong with us, and we try to suppress what is coming to the surface to be released. And this resistance – our resistance – makes everything worse!

 

Then when the pain (anxiety, depression, fear, worry) get too bad – we seek refuge in our old patterns – we eat or we drink or we watch TV or we work and work and work or we let our love addiction or whatever addiction take over… anything to escape the pain….

 

But friends, as you’ve probably discovered – nothing works! Not really. Once you’re on this growth path, once you start becoming more conscious, the old stuff will come up to be released. That’s the way it works – because you can’t go higher in consciousness and keep the old stuff with you. It’s impossible. If you want to evolve, if you want to awake up – you have to look at the old stuff and let it go…

 

So what’s the best way of dealing with this process?

 

NON-RESISTANCE… if you can just let it happen, if you can say to yourself – ok – well this is what is happening…. This is what I am feeling… this is what is… this is what I need to look at… if you can lovingly take yourself by the hand and give yourself a big big hug and well just let everything be… you will see that the peace that passeth all human understanding descends on you… and you will get to taste (maybe just for a moment) the non-dualistic state. You will get to feel (maybe just for a moment) what it’s like when you finally emerge from the battleground that is the world of dualistic thinking…

 

I wish you the peace that passeth all human understanding on this sunny summer day!

Trapped in a golden cage?

Everybody's dreaming about that one love. The one great love that we believe will fulfil us and make us eternally happy. And we think if we just find him or her... well then we'll be home free. But is that true?

I remember watching a bit of the fairy tale wedding of the second Danish prince on TV last month and suddenly the thought popped into my head "poor girl" ... and I realized I was thinking that now she's going to be trapped in a golden cage. I really felt sorry for her. I mean think about it. The beautiful wedding, the gown, the flowers, all the people, even the blessing from God... and then what? Then you're stuck with this dude for the rest of your life! Poor girl indeed!

Why are we supposed to only love one person? And is that love? Is that really God's will for us? Is it really Divine Love when you can't give all the love in your heart to everyone you meet?

And I can hear my jealous ex-boyfriend saying indignantly, "What would happen to our society if everyone loved everyone???" He he he... yes what would happen?

Sex and the City - the movie

Well friends I did it. I went in and saw Sex and the City - the Movie with my friend Lone. And just going into the theater was an experience... It was like the whole world is only women in their 30s.... he he... and me of course and the 3 brave men who I saw in the crowd of about 1,000 women all dressed like Carrie Bradshaw.... he he... and well, what can I say. I loved the TV series, but the movie, well it was a disappointment. Really. And to think that those 4 fabulous women who have such a huge huge fan base - so many women who adore them - didn't do more with their opportunity to do some good on this Planet. Well it's a bit sad really. All that glamour and the big wedding and the clothes, which of course is fun to look at and like reading Vogue magazine... but what happened to our dear little Carrie who lived in her little apartment and was a regular woman who worked and had a job and asked questions about life and all the stuff that we real women actually do... what about the questioning mind... and that urge to use your life to do some good and make a difference... well it seems to all have been forgotten in the rush to achieve the good life as defined by Americans which means money money money and more money - and what about Planet Earth and all the starving hungry children...? I mean even Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are doing better than that!

And what about us? What are we doing?

Life always gives you what you need

Have you noticed that whatever your problems or issues are - they keep coming back to you? Over and over again? Until you learn what you're supposed to learn.

Isn't it interesting that Life is like that? You could say that Life is always giving us exactly what we need. No matter how we look at it and, it's not like we have a choice, is it? Life just keeps coming at us.

If for example you're like me and you have a hard time setting limits and saying no, well then Life will keep coming back to you with the same situations - over and over again, until we see it. (At least that's my experience). And then when we see it, well we also get plenty of chances to practice our new understanding too. If you watch closely, you'll see the same stuff coming at you over and over gain whether it's from your partner, your business colleague, your mother or your daughter. Over and over.... it's really interesting to watch. It's all for us! The whole show! Amazing.... 

Are you loving your life right now?

Did you notice, this is your life? Right now? Right this moment?

Can you take it all in? And enjoy the suchness of this moment. Today. With no preparation whatsoever?

José Ortega y Gasset says: "We cannot put off living until we are ready. The most salient characteristic of life is its urgency, 'here and now' without any possible postponement. Life is fired at us pointblank."

Don't you just love it? And isn't it wonderful that we've all been given this gift? Each and every one of us - young and old, rich and poor, sick and healthy. It doesn't matter to Life who we are or how we are. Life is ours - with no conditions!!

Enjoy this day!

The "yes to life" tour

After sitting with their dying father, my sons Robin and Mark have decided to go on a "yes to life" tour across America this summer. Don't you just love it? When they told me, I felt this big smile stretching across my face... the brilliance of being confronted with the fragility of our lives. And the clear understanding that TODAY IS THE DAY. TODAY IS THE DAY OF OUR AMAZING GOOD FORTUNE. Why? Well because we ARE and because we ARE HERE and NOW. This is it! This is our lives.

So what about you? Are you saying "yes" to your life and your dreams today?

It's a great exercise to take a look deep inside and find out where you are saying "no" to life... where you are waiting for tomorrow... where you are holding back... And if you are, well then think about death. Think about how little time you have left. Meditating on your own death is one of the most life-affirming things you can do!

I love that my sons have discovered this!

A day in the life

Hi friends,

If you've been subscribing to my blog and stopped getting my posts... well there's been a problem with the blog feeds so you have to subscribe again.... Please do! I love talking to you and hearing your comments.

And today, well, today... a day in the life. Sunshine, amazing. My new car. Blue. Amazing. The new old  ocean. Blue. Amazing. Water. Cold. Swim. Amazing. My ex-husband with terminal cancer and a woman today coming for consultation also with cancer. The coming and going. Nothing so life affirming as death. Amazing. And meeting 2 very old friends, just by "accident" at McDonalds's. Amazing. What are you doing here? Do you really eat this stuff? Yes. Obviously. Amazing. A day in the life. Amazing. Grateful. Grateful.

Wasn't your day just amazing too?

The secret of the mental equivalent

I was reading my old favorite Emmet Fox yesterday and he reminded me of the secret of the mental equivalent. Since the law of the universe is "like attracts like" everything in your life is really an out-picturing of your state of mind. That is why understanding the secret of the mental equivalent is so important.

If you want to demonstrate/experience health or prosperity or love in your life and so-called outer circumstances, you must have the mental equivalent. In other words, you must have this state of mind first on the inner before you can experience it in the outer. That means you have to think, feel and enjoy a feeling of health or prosperity or love first. And it's not just enough to think about these things sometimes, you have to do it constantly and with "feeling". The feeling bit is the most important part of all. You can't just think, well, I'm healthy. You have to "feel" that you're healthy. You have to enjoy "feeling" healthy. You can't just think, well, I am prosperous. You have to "feel" that you're prosperous. You have to enjoy "feeling" prosperous. Really enjoy it. Really feel it. Really enjoy the sensation so that you are convinced completely that this is your reality.

And this is not so difficult to do if you study the Nature of Reality and come to realize that the ONE which is all of existence is INFINTIE GOOD. And that this ONE, this Infinite Good, is what we are. It's only our own confused thinking that clouds our experience of this Good.

 If you are curious about the logic behind God is All and God is Good - you can find an explanation in my book Mental Technology (The 10 Mental Laws) in the second part of the book. The book is online free in my previous blog of June 12, 2007... but here’s the link anyway… http://barbaraberger.typepad.com/10_mental_laws_mental_technology.pdf

Lots of love to you!

More good stuff from Tim about relationships

Well friends, if you liked Tim's 10 reality checks for staying conscious in a relationship, he's written a few more fun and thought-provoking pieces about the wonderful man-woman game....

If you want to check it out - click here: http://www.beamteam.com/en/tim/timwrites.html

Enjoy! Love, Barbara