Barbara Berger's Blog

YOUR VOICE MATTERS – SO PLEASE GET OUT AND VOTE IN THE US ELECTION IF YOU CAN!

Today, the horrific situation in the US is breaking my heart… the divisiveness, the lack of basic respect and common decency, the breakdown of basic democratic principles and institutions… all of which is making almost any kind of civilized political debate impossible… well it just breaks my heart.

So I am hoping and praying that everyone of you who reads this and who is able to vote in the US election, is doing so and doing so fiercely and with pride.

Remember, every single one of us has a voice, and our voices matter. And in this situation, your right to vote is your voice. Please use it.

For me, living here in Denmark as I do, watching the unfolding situation in the US today really triggers in me the memory of my own traumatic departure from the US. As many of you know, in the early 1960s when I was 18, the Vietnam War was really starting to turn ugly. My boyfriend Steve had just dropped out of college and was immediately drafted into the army. Steve and I were against the Vietnam War. My father was a military man and worked at the Pentagon, so our opposition to the war wasn’t very popular in my family. At that time, there was the draft in the United States so Steve had only two options – join the army or go to jail for five years. The protest movement hadn’t really begun yet in the United States and Steve and I felt very alone with our choices. But it was a question of doing the right thing and we had only our lives and our bodies to do it with – so we did. We decided we would not be a part of a war that we thought was unjust. So I ran away from home and Steve ran from the army – and together we went underground. We left the United States and after two years on the run and many adventures, we ended up getting political asylum in Sweden, a country that opposed American involvement in Vietnam. And 2 years later, I was living in Copenhagen and my first book about the youth rebellion against the Vietnam war was published in Denmark and Sweden.

Doing the right thing

Because of this experience, I learned at an early age that doing the right thing isn’t always easy and that all one’s choices always have consequences – both for oneself and for the world. In the case of the Vietnam War, fortunately there were many other young Americans who felt the same way as Steve and I did and eventually America withdrew from Vietnam, but only after so many lives were tragically destroyed.

For me personally, this decision changed the course of my whole life and resulted in me leaving the country of my birth at a very young age and building a new life in Scandinavia where I still live today. Many years later when I saw my father for the last time, he cried and apologized for not understanding or supporting me way back then when I was young. Such is the way of it.

The impulse to do the right thing burns brightly in each of us.

It is our nature, the heart of us, which is love and which is crying out for respect and common kindness and decency. When we oppose our innermost nature, we suffer and so do others. That is why I feel so strongly that if we want to live happy lives, we must not disregard this urge, this flame, this bright impulse for justice and to do the right thing (which is always an expression of love) – regardless of the cost. This flame is our morning star, this flame is our guiding light, this flame is the heart of each one of us.

So please today, when it counts so much – stand up for the highest and best you can envision – and vote in the US election if you can. Our voices matter. All our voices matter. Your voice matters. Your vote matters!

 

Your Right to Be You

You have a right to be you! This high ideal is a deeply spiritual principle. It is something which the founders of the United States of America understood when they wrote the following words in the Declaration of Independence in 1776 “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” To this day, this statement is not only the basis of democracy, it is a high calibration truth and one of the most profound statements ever formulated by humankind. And it’s something we all need to consider deeply each and every day.

And as I said, this high ideal is based on the deeply spiritual understanding that each human being is a divine creation, a unique creation of the Living God, and therefore has inherent worth and should be treated with respect, no matter who he or she is. And no matter how high or how low the person’s standing or outer situation is. And obviously, truly understanding this highly spiritual concept is so important very, very important today, in these very challenging and troubling times. Because unfortunately, when we forget this, when we forget our origin and who we really are, we flounder and are lost in terms of taking good care of ourselves and treating our fellow human beings with respect.

The other thing is this… when we understand and recognize the inherent worth of each of our fellow human beings, we can also understand that the ultimate abuse occurs when someone tries to violate another person’s unalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And this, as we all know, is something that is happening all around us, right now, right where we are. Just turn on the TV or listen to the news and we see it happening. Yes, here, there and everywhere.

But it’s not just in the political arena and on the streets that this disrespect and abuse is happening. It’s also happening even closer to home. For some, or perhaps many of us, it’s in our very own families and/or in the lives of people around us or close to us. Which can be pretty shocking to recognize and admit. But it’s true nevertheless. And when we do recognize this, when we do wake up to this, we begin to realize that disrespect and abuse are not just out there but also in here. Often right where we are.

Because I work as a coach and a therapist, I know this for a fact. Because I talk to people every day and I get to hear what’s going on in families and other close relationships. I get to hear about people’s difficulties and challenges. And the truth is, almost everyone I talk to during these private sessions (whether on Skype or Zoom or face to face in my office) has experienced or is experiencing some lack of respect or some type of abuse. And what is more, they are suffering today (and sometimes greatly) from the effects of this abuse. More concretely, they are suffering from and struggling with the reality that someone close to them has tried to violate their unalienable right to their own life, and to liberty (which is the freedom to make their own choices and do what they want – and experience the consequences of these choices). In other words, their right to pursue happiness in whatever way they deem best (and again to experience the consequences) has been hindered, blocked and/or denied. I hear this often from my clients. And it’s heartbreaking…

So yes, even in these so-called modern times, I still hear stories of peoples’ basic rights to live their own lives as they deem best being violated. And being violated by their own partners or families or parents. Or by someone close to them who thinks they somehow know what’s best or what’s right for the person in question to think, say, or do. It’s maddening to hear such stories. Because when you think about it… it’s just plain idiocy. Because how can anyone else, no matter how well intentioned or well informed, actually know what’s really and truly best for another human being? It presupposes the ability to get inside another person’s soul and know what their life’s journey is all about. And it also presupposes being able to get inside another person’s head and know how this person thinks and feels – and then to take control of this person’s thinking and feeling. And obviously, this is just not possible. Which is why this is such a basic violation of another’s human being’s rights. The moment you meet or hear anyone who deems to know better than another person what’s best for that person… well it’s time to pack your bags and run for the door and get out of there as fast as possible. But unfortunately, there are so many people who can’t just pack up and run. Many wives can’t, many wives with small children can’t, many small children and even older children just can’t. So many unfortunate people are stuck. Stuck in situations that are disrespectful, even abusive… struck… struggling…. struggling to breathe, struggling to catch a breath of fresh air, struggling to survive so that hopefully one day they will be able to stand firm in their own unalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

That is why I say – based on my experience as a coach and therapist - that the violation of human rights is not just something that is happening out there in the political arena or on the world stage… it’s also happening right here where we are. In our own homes and/or in the homes of our friends and neighbors. And it’s time we wake up and recognize all of this….

Why? Because I doubt very much that we can fix out there until we fix in here. Because… Out there is just a reflection of in here…

So yes, let’s all stand up for respect… yes for decency and respect, wherever we are, whatever we are doing. And yes, it makes a huge difference what we do today, right where we are.

Blessings to you!